3:52am my eyes are burning
Sometimes I feel so lonely at night when I can’t sleep and thoughts of you came into my head and keep replaying themselves nonstop. I think of all the words you said to me and those that I told you and the unsaid things I would die to say to you. These are the times when I remind myself to start thinking about something else because it’s a waste of energy and heartbeat thinking about things that will never happen. Then that’s when I start feeling sorry for myself because all the things I ever thought about haven’t really happened in my whole life.
I feel lonely not because I’m all alone at night. I feel lonely because my subconscious mind knows that I should be doing something or be with someone and yet I’m not.
The loneliness comes from something that doesn’t even exist. It’s like having the sensation of an amputated arm. This phantom limb keeps reminding my brain to feel its existence even when it’s gone.
I need someone to hold.
No. Not someone.
I need you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.